Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

The Blame Game

Attitude is everything.  I’ve recently picked up a few (a lot more than usual) extra hours at work.  For a couple of years, I have been staying home to care for my babies.  I thought, well we need the extra income and I’m ready to be around others and have adult conversation.  Well, picking up these extra hours has thrown my flow completely off.  It’s important to me, to be able to plan my meals and to get in a few workouts during the week.  But, sadly I’ve thrown that completely out my routine, in order to make room for my new work hours.  

I can humbly admit that I’ve easily put the blame on others around me (my family.)  It’s easier to see where they don’t meet my expectations to make my life a little easier.  It’s easy to choose to be upset because of things they have or haven’t done.  Looking inward, I have come to realize a few things–

  1. My expectations are unrealistic at times.– This one’s hard for me to accept.  I have always been such an over achiever.  Sometimes it’s okay to give myself some limits and focus on doing a few things well, instead of trying to halfway conquer everything at once.
  2. My time is precious.– I like to excuse myself from throwing my time away by scrolling down social media or doing pointless things that don’t bring life to my vision.  I usually feel awful after wasting such precious time.  Better time management is on my list of priorities.
  3. The blame game is not fair nor to be used as a crutch.– As I said above, this one requires me to be humble and admit where I fall short.  Thinking thoughts like, “If it weren’t for them I would be able to do this or that..” are toxic.  These thoughts won’t fix the problem.  These thoughts bring other negative thoughts and it’s a downward spiral.  I end up feeling hopeless and kinda depressed.  These are all false lies.  When I actually buy into these thoughts I actually create an imaginary obstacle for myself and refuse to move forward with certain goals, dreams and desires.

I’m huge on reading books or articles that talk about the power of your mind.  When I find myself literally feeling sick because of the negative thoughts I create in my mind and buy the stories that I make up because of blame, and I am in this tornado of chaos, it is harder to realize that I am the one who ultimately has created the mess.

I have found that a few minutes of meditation and reflection, quickly allows me to come to my senses and to the “real world”.  It’s not that bad.  It’s all okay.  It’s not their fault.  It’s no one’s fault.  There’s no one to blame, but me.  If I don’t like the way things are going, the fact that I haven’t been working out, or my lack of planning in any part, then I need to step my game up.  I need to stop the downward spiral of negative thinking and refocus.  A little pep talk helps.  Also, limiting the trash that I feed my mind and filling my mind with nutritious and life-giving information and thoughts goes a long way. 

Don’t fall into the trap of the blame game.  There comes a point and time in our lives that we are to be held responsible for our own thoughts and actions. That time is now. 

 

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