My husband is a nerd which makes me a nerd wife. In our home we say “everyone is nerdy about something” and use “nerd” as a true term of endearment. While it may be true we are all nerds at heart, my family is nerdy in the truest sense. My family plays Dungeons & Dragons (D&D)…well, most of us do. I played once, made my sixteen year old son cry and never played again. Now I have the joy of supporting my amazing husband each week as he prepares for his game – he is the Dungeon Master, of course!
Inspiration in Unexpected Places!
In a recent YouTube video, Mayim Bialik shared how playing D&D with her children has become a form of therapy for her and how engaging in this type of fantasy-based creativity actually engages parts of the brain we rarely use in other parts of our life. I have found that conversations with my husband about an upcoming game meets many of his needs as well as needs I didn’t even know I had. We have conversations about character development, generate ideas about scenery, battles, and brainteasers. Supporting my husband in doing what he loves has continued to deepen our relationship.
Each Tuesday I get the table ready for gaming, make coffee and prepare our home to host a half-dozen young adults. The game starts around 6pm each week, and the players have been consistently arriving earlier and earlier giving me the opportunity to visit with them about fantasy and their real life. My husband loves how invested I have become in the well-being of these players outside of the game. For seven years we have seen players come and go during different seasons of their lives. We have hosted a dozen campaigns and one-shot games and each one has improved my ability to have conversations about the game. I am a better listener as my husband recounts the game and prepares for the next week. I’m also in the group text managing everyone’s schedule, handling conflicts and juggling social dynamics. I also insert some witty banter every now and then. Oh, I love it, and I am grateful for such a fun way to love my husband.
I think He Married me for my Planning Skills!
Every week the conversations we have about game preparation are hilarious. Since I really don’t know the game well, I make off-the-wall suggestions and offer way-too complicated ideas. This past week we had a blast as I rebuilt the character I had played (years ago) with the help of my husband. I chose character class and race, her strengths and weaknesses, selected weapons and armor, and developed her personality and backstory. She is magnificent. I don’t know if I will ever play again but if I do, she is ready and waiting.
I know gaming isn’t for everyone. There is a unique group of people out there who play various tabletop role-playing games (RPG). As intimidating as it can be, I would encourage any wife to learn something about the game so you can connect with your hubby as he does something he enjoys. You may even find (like I did) that these conversations are so much fun.
For any wives looking to learn more about their nerdy husbands and this tabletop RPG Dungeons & Dragons, find a ladies-only game in your area much like the one hosted at King’s Landing in Waco.
I think you will find engaging in this creative fantasy way of thinking will unlock creative potential in other areas of life. Being a nerd wife in this particular way is fun, therapeutic and it contributes to a phenomenal marriage. I wouldn’t have it any other way.