I have finally reached a place in my life where simple means everything. Getting tasks checked off my to-do list are a must and achieving goals is fulfilling, but nothing beats living the simple life. As a busy wife and mom of five, time seems to keep escaping the grip of my fingertips. I have always been the kind of person to find self-worth through accomplished daily tasks and achieved long-term goals. I always felt like the more I did, the better I was as a woman. I also found myself feeling fried at the end of the day. No energy to give to anyone that I love. Or to anyone else for that matter. I got tired of feeling this way at the end of every day and realized “something’s gotta give.”
I enjoy reading books, especially ones that help with my personal development. I want to get the most out of this life I get to live once, and I want to do it right. Right as in finding and maintaining health, peace, love and joy. I want all of that. I feel like the best way to soak my soul with all of these positive emotions and states of being is to invest in healthy, solid relationships and to share my life with others. Not tasks, not goals, nor the level of my education can give me the feeling of joy that cannot be expressed in words. I know those things are important as well, but prioritizing relationships above tasks has become more important to me.
This is all new to me. While the transition is fresh in its beginning stage, I already feel a sense of relief. The stress I have always given myself to do everything at once is finally brought to the light. I can’t lie and say that the stress is gone, because I still want to be a task-oriented person, but I know the option is there now. To live a simple life. That alone is a promise to me. In fact, this morning before heading out the door my husband said, “Don’t overdo it today and be dead by the time I get home.” That was an ah-ha moment for me. I never truly understood how my perfectionism has affected my family, but it has and change must happen.
I want to be at ease and fun to be around. I don’t want my family to dread coming around me. Like, “what does she need me to do now?” I want to enjoy these years with my kids that I will never get back. I want to look back in ten years and say I invested in our relationships and the things that mattered to them. I also want to see the fruits of this investment. I want to live and feel alive. Choosing the simple life is sweet. It’s like waking up every day and being tender to the day. It’s waking up and saying, “How can I take care of you with light and love? With joy and peace? So that you can take good care of me.” It’s treating others in this same way. Days are short, years come shorter. Taking my attention away from timelines and focusing on the who and now is where I am heading. The ride will be lovely, smooth and magical, I imagine. I choose this simple life.