It’s a club you never want to be a part of. In fact, it’s one that you never even knew existed because you didn’t think it would happen to you.
I am one in four.
When I became one of “the one,” I began to realize how many others had walked the road before me. Miscarriage. Loss. Stillborn. We have many words for it, but in the end, one common threat remains: there was a life and now it’s gone. The words, “There is no heartbeat” changed me in ways I can’t explain. Even now, if I close my eyes I can hear the doctor’s voice and still feel my deep, lingering grief.
Those sudden, unexpected words sent me into a mind-numbing fog which lasted for weeks. But one of the clearer memories I do have is my doctor handing me a small book on pregnancy loss. His small, kind gesture provided a resource for me when I was ready to heal. I took it without realizing how much I would need it later.
Even though our culture has become more aware of pregnancy loss, what do you actually do to help someone?
Well, author Sarah Philpott, has written a beautiful devotional book titled Loved Baby for women experiencing the grief of pregnancy loss. Her 2-3 page devotionals are vulnerable and powerful addressing all aspects of pregnancy loss and the different stages of grief. Some of my favorite devotionals are entitled “Walking in Faith,” “Searching for Why,” “Meet Hannah: Our Biblical Soulmate,” “Dads Hurt Too,” and “When Your Mind and Body Remind You of Your Loss.” Each one is packed full of wisdom, scripture, and practical strategies about handling grief and comforting your soul.
It’s so hard to know what to say or what to do when someone you know experiences loss. But what I learned is that any version of reaching out leaves a lasting impression. Although I might have struggled to respond at first, it helped. It really did. Loved Baby is a beautiful resource for women or even friends and family who may not know what to say or do. Sometimes the smallest gesture of handing someone a book can mean the world.
I still have that little book from three years ago. Eventually, I tucked it away along with sweet cards that friends and family shared with me from that season. But I am forever grateful for their acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. Perhaps this book might be the encouragement that someone you know needs today.
God promises in Isaiah 41:18 to “make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys, turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs.” Sarah Philpott writes in Loved Baby, “Do you see the promises? God revives. Though your heart is parched, he will replenish your soul. No well is too deep for his love. He turns our weakness into his strength.”
Our God is a God who heals and restores even the most shattered of hearts. So here is my prayer for those who are “one” of the “one in four,” as we grieve and wait to hold those “Loved Babies” in Heaven.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. -Ephesians 3:14-21